A REAL Farewell

I reread my last farewell post, and I have to say...not my best. Ugh, it was so poorly written. I wrote it hastily and it turned out just downright sucky. So, since I haven't officially started my new college blog yet (I'll get there) I figured it would be good to give this little treasure a proper send-off.

I'm 18 years old. I have absolutely no clue what I want to do with my life.

Shocker, right? I know that even the 18 year olds who think they have it all figured out are either delusional or entering a family business. I've decided that I'm going to make this post completely honest. Here's what my dreams were and what they have become.

Ever since I was little I have been enamored with musical theater. It was and is that one thing that brings me the most joy. So, ever since I was little, my dream was to be on Broadway. And I know that is probably the dumbest, corniest thing ever. But that's the way dreams are. 

Dreams are often times very unrealistic. That's what my opinion has become about that little old dream of mine. So many things in my life just didn't quite line up for that dream to come true. I grew up in a very small town, and as amazing as that was, it has given me a fairly inaccurate gauge of how talented I am. I hear this figure of speech way too often: they were just a big fish in a small pond. That's what I was. That doesn't mean I wasn't a talented fish. It just means that there are probably bigger fish out there, and in the grand scheme of things, I'm fairly miniscule. I'm also a fish who started too late. I am not remotely prepared for what a professional musical theater setting would demand from me. I am not a dancer, and I would need a lot of work as an actor. But in the eyes of any courtroom, I've officially entered adulthood, so I feel like it might be too little too late.

Now, mind you, I understand that these are excuses. I could surpass these things and attempt to live my dream in spite of them. But that would be terrifying!!! If I finish college, I will be in about $35,000 worth of debt. Add together paying that off and renting an apartment and having the lack of work that is characteristic of a new artist, and I see myself living in a refrigerator box under the loveliest overpass Manhattan has to offer. Not to mention there is no guarantee that I will ever get a job in theater.

I know this may be coming off as a melancholy self-pity fest, but I'm trying to be realistic and put to words the stuff that is going on in my head. What is my dream now? Good god, I don't fricker-fracken know. Baker? Teacher? Performer? SNL cast member? Inventor of the next big infomercial product? Currently, every time I think about the future, I get a really bad migraine and usually start crying. Maybe that's just my sleep-deprived college brain crying out for a nap. I know once I've found my niche, I won't feel that way anymore.

So finally, officially, I say goodbye to high school. Goodbye to old dreams and, once I figure out what they are, hello to new, better ones.

I leave you with a quote from my musical theater hero:

The art of making art is putting it together. Bit by bit. - Stephen Sondheim

(If you miss me click here and you can here even more about my college angst!)

Oh yeah, prom happened

Wah wah wah. Busy busy busy.
That's all I seem to do these days, is whine about how busy I am.
But, truth be told, I've been have a really fun time this year. And one of those fun things was prom.

(Oh nostalgia! Here's my sister and I. Kindergarten. Senior prom. Whoa.)

I had a blast at prom this year. The theme was "A Walk On The Wild Side", and the junior class totally ran with it. They did such a good job decorating! I've gone with a friend-boy both years that I've gone to prom, and it's always been really fun.

The banquet and dance are fun, but after prom was the best part. A hypnotist came and I was one of the kids the got hypnotized. Being hypnotized is WEIRD. You are aware of what's going on. You laugh at things that other people say. You can hear the audience. You're completely there, but you do whatever the hypnotist tells you too without question. That's the weird part. When I was hypnotized, I cried about pretty much everything, yelled at people, and hid things in my cleavage. It was hilarious.

And that was that. Prom was great.

Rainbow Doodle Cake

Today was my last day babysitting for the summer, and we wanted to have some fun. Since I love to bake, we decided that we should end the summer with something sweet. This is an idea from a baking site called Sweetapolita and the kids just loved it! They got to draw all over a cake with markers and then eat it. So fun!

Raspberry Brown Butter Tart

Summer has come and gone in a blink! Well, summer isn't quite over yet, but school starts pretty soon! Even though I'm a fan of turtlenecks and a hot cup of peppermint tea, I'm a little weary about saying goodbye to this summer. It feels like my last summer ever. But, then again, that's kind of exciting too. If you're feeling a little sentimental about summer, here is a great dessert to make with some of my favorite summer berries!

The Chicken Wrap

Graduation was 1 month ago. We are still cleaning up from it. Pardon this tardy post. I thought I would be less busy during the summer. Ha.

Sunday, May 19th 2013, was officially the end of my time as a high schooler. I walked across the stage and the president of the school board handed me my diploma and that was it. Then we threw our hats in the air and some kids went to town with a few cans of silly string.

Now, don't misunderstand me during this next section. Graduation was a great experience. But some people make it out like it will be the greatest experience of you time in high school. And that is completely false.

To explain this, I'm going to use what my mother and her friends call a "Bethism". I am going to compare my high school experience to my favorite high school cafeteria meal...the chicken wrap. Now, the graduation ceremony is sort of like the tortilla. The tortilla surrounds the outside, so it's what you think of when you envision a chicken wrap. As your growing up when you think of high school, you think of graduation. I think that's because it's pretty much the only thing that you can anticipate. That and prom. (Prom is the lettuce. It's mostly fluff, but it's kind of nice to have in there). 

Classes are the chicken. That's is where the bulk of your time is going to be spent. That's also where the bulk of your memories are going to be made. The chicken is the tastiest part, but it's also where most of the calories come from. Classes are fun and it's great to spend time with your friends, but some of them are a LOT of hard work.

Extracurriculars are the cheese. Sometimes, with the chicken wrap, the cheese kind of falls out the bottom. Extracurricilars are a lot of time and hard work, and sometimes they slip away from you a little bit (once I forgot about a practice for the musical. I felt to bad, I went home and cried for 20 minutes.) But they are absolutely worth every ounce of effort.

Last, there's the ranch. The ranch is something a little different for everybody. For me, the ranch was playing board games every Saturday with my classmates. It was decorating the hallway for the Wizard of Oz and watching everybody light up when they saw it. It was a party-bus ride where we all lost of voice from singing an
epic rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. That's my ranch. That's my chicken wrap. And those things were a lot more meaningful and lasting to me than a 55 minute ceremony where I just smiled, and walked in heels, and sat up straight. But it was nice to have that tortilla to wrap it all up.

Other Fun Facts:
We had Class Night, and I sang a song with my friend Jessica. And I cried through half of it. I thought it was really embarrassing, but a lot of people have told me how "touching" they thought it was so I guess I'm ok.

Also during class night, I was exhausted from getting ready for my party and being at my party. I fell asleep during the scholarship portion. And then I received a scholarship while I was konked out, so my friends had to wake me up and I drowsily went up retrieve it. Whoops!

I am currently in the midst of writing 140-some thanks you notes for all of the wonderful gifts I received during my graduation party.

My poor, poor blog

The reason we don't have pets in my house is because we simply don't have time. They would be neglected. I mean, they would have food, water, and a dry, warm place to sleep. But we lack the time and energy to give them the affection they need.

This is the way my blog has been treated.

I've been so busy, it's a wonder that I never ended up showing up at the wrong activity.
Here's what's been going on.

1. Jazz Band
For the first time in 14 years, Audubon Jazz Band qualified for the Iowa Jazz Championships. I play saxophone (I have given up hope that I will ever look attractive in a picture of me playing an instrument). It has been a very enjoyable season, and a very enjoyable group of people to work with.  We went to the state competition yesterday. We did not place, but it was still a big step for us to qualify after all these years

2. Jazz Choir
Our Jazz choir got 2nd place at the state competition. And we were all very disappointed. Doesn't that say something about the caliber of our group? Disappointed in getting 2nd at a state competition? It has been a tough year for our group, and I'm proud of us for getting through and always working hard despite the challenges. Now, they have something to shoot for next year, and I hope that they can bring home another championship trophy.

3. Individual Speech
 Look at that hardware! I won third place at the Walnut Hill Individual Speech competition. In expos, believe it or not, as opposed to individual musical theater, in which I did not even make the finals (don't be bitter, Beth).
This year for individual speech, I did an expository address (a speech with a visual aid) about how single people spend Valentine's Day, and a musical theater piece called Rose's Turn (which I talked about in the loveless puppy that I call "Manic Monday")
I got straight one's in both events at the state contest (a personal best), but did not advance to All-State, which was my ultimate goal in musical theater at least. Upon reflection, if I truly wanted to make it to All-State, I should have put more time in. But that time, I'm sorry to say, had to be spent sleeping. For the sake of my health.

 4. College Stuff
I was accepted into two music programs (at state schools, which is no easy feat.) They were Iowa State University, and the University of Iowa. Here's the deal. My sister is going to Iowa State. We have more a family legacy there. But Iowa has more of what I'm interested in. I really like it there. Plus, I've had this gut feeling all year that I need to go there. We'll see if that means anything.



Misc.
*We had state solo/ensemble contest last weekend. I participated in 9 events and got seven division I ratings. BONUS: My vocal solo was chosen as best of center. What does that mean, Beth? Well, it means that out of the 30-35 events that were in that particular center, including solos, duets, groups, etc., my solo was considered the best.
*I was in a play called "Leaving Iowa". I played an obnoxious brat. It was great :)
* We went to visit my brother/aunt and uncle in Seattle for spring break. Just my sister and I and our cousin Katherine. No parents! It was so fun :)
*I'm graduating...in 1 month.... AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.

Oscar Update

I am an award-show-aholic. I love anything Oscar/Emmy/Tony etc. This year, I wanted to see all of the Best Picture nominated films before the Oscars. Considering at this point I have six movies left to see, I don't think it's going to happen. Here's Where I'm at so far...

Les Miserables
If you know me, you know that I love musicals more than water. Even if you only read this blog, you've probably gathered that I have a thing for spontaneous song. So when Les Miserables came out, I was all over it. It was very good, but it had many flaws. There were a lot of close ups, a few weak singers (though, unlike most, I do not consider Russell Crowe to be one of them). Also, it all went by so fast! I mean, I understand that they condensed the show (the cut out about 45 minutes from the stage version), but I felt like it made the characters harder to connect to. The movie's redeeming qualities were definitely Anne Hathaway (so far, my nominee for Best Supporting Actress), Samantha Barks, and the end scene between her, ValJean (Hugh Jackman), and the Bishop. Good, satisfactory, but not my pick Best Picture.

Silver Linings Playbook
So far, my pick for best picture. I LOVED this movie. It's about a guy who suffers from mental illness who is trying to put his life back together. It didn't make me cry like Les Mis did, but I felt very connected to each character. Jennifer Lawrence was amazing, as was Bradley Cooper. I don't really know what else to say. It was just a really great film.

Zero Dark Thirty
Intense. I seriously thought I was going to vomit when it was over, because it was two hours of very concentrated intensity. For those of you that don't know, Zero Dark Thirty is a movie about the decade-long search for/assassination of Osama bin Laden. Mainly, about the woman whose life was consumed by this mission (played by Jessica Chastain). Omigosh, bravo Jessica Chastain! She was phenomenal. Though the movie was difficult to watch at some points, I understand the appreciation for it.

Even though I haven't seen enough of the films to make a super valid choice, I know who I'll be rooting at the Oscars this Sunday!

Manic Monday

I try not to do two Manic Mondays in a row, but last time I did that I went a month without posting anything at all! So forgive me. I decided to do something a little different with this Manic Monday post. I'm posting groups of three things from various categories. I might do this every once in a while.

1. People I Want to Meet

#1 Stephen Sondheim

 Gypsy, West Side Story, Into the Woods, Company, A Little Night Music, Sunday In the Park With George, Follies. He was behind them all. I want meet him and see what goes on inside that brilliant head of his.

#2 Patti LuPone

 Because she's amazing.

#3 Adele

THAT VOICE! Ugh, I'm jealous of her baby, because that voice sings him to sleep every night.

2. Favorite TV Pairs

#1 Liz and Jack (30 Rock)

For one thing, I am very sad that this show is over! Liz and Jack made it seven seasons as just friends, not romantic entanglement. Their unconventional mentor/mentee or sister-ployee/work-orcacle relationship is what made this show so great.

#2 Sheldon and Amy (The Big Bang Theory)

Such a weird, brilliant couple. Whenever these two are together, you're in for some laughs.

 #3 The Dowager Countess and Isobel Crawley (Downton Abbey)

I love these two little old biddys, and the way they can have caddy disagreements with such propriety.

3. Lead Characters In Musicals That I Must Play

#1 Diana Goodman (Next to Normal)

 A bipolar depressive woman with delusion episodes.

#2 Elphaba (Wicked)

The story of Oz as told by the Wicked Witch.

#3 Kathy (The Last 5 Years)

A woman telling the story of her relationship. She starts her side of the story at the dissolution of her marriage. Her husband starts his story at their first date. The only time their stories intertwine is at their wedding.

4. Places To Go

#1 London

West End. Big Ben. Red Buses.

#2 Myrtle Beach

I'm not sure why, but I've just always wanted to go to Myrtle Beach (South Carolina).

#3 The Alps

Just to I can twirl around and sing "The hills are alive!" And they look pretty too.

Manic Monday! Finally!

 

A long overdue, but hopefully worth the wait Manic Monday post!

1. Here She Is Boys! Here She Is World!

Those are my three favorite Mama Rose's (Patti Lupone, Bette Midler and Bernadette Peters). I have been trying to find a song to sing for solo musical theater but I am very, very, VERY picky. I've wanted to do Rose's Turn from Gypsy, for a while. My excuse was always, "I can't find a good enough karaoke version of it", which is partially true. The totally real, no sugar coating version? This song SCARES ME. I'm afraid the audience won't get it. I'm afraid I won't due justice to it. I'm afraid I'll end up sounding like a screaming fool. But you know what? It's my senior year. It's my turn damn it! And I'm gonna do this song.

 

2. Tina Friggin Fey and Amy Friggin Poehler

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler need to host every award show. All of them. I'm serious. I know the Globes were a while ago, but they were so funny that I just had to blurb about it. My favorite lines of the night?

TINA: The Hunger Games was one of the biggest films this year, and also what I call the six weeks it took me to fit into this dress!

AMY: Ang Lee was nominated for Best Director for The Life of Pi, which is what I'm gonna call the six weeks after I take this dress off!

*high five*

 

3. Silver Linings Playbook

Sometimes, I go to movies by myself. This time, I didn't intend to, but it just sort of ended up that way. Anyway, Silver Linings Playbook is a very good movie. It's funny, intense, romantic. I would definitely see it again (with or without anybody else).

 

4. Scholastic Arts and Writing Awards

I won what is called a Gold Key award for this colored pencil drawing that I did last year (I might post the color version later). A Gold Key indicates that my project is advancing from the state level to the national level, to compete against works from across the US. I wouldn't say that I expect to win anything at the national level, but I am very tickled to receive that kind of recognition.

 

5. Jazz Choir

Our jazz choir has been thrown a loop these last couple of weeks. Our amazing director found out that she had a blood clot in her leg. It was pretty serious, but she's had surgery and is doing okay. We had to run State Contest on our own (with the help of a few adults). We've been working hard and trying to keep improving and moving ahead, but we sure would like to see her back and healthy!

Large Group Speech

Another part of my senior year has come and gone. Large group speech starts in November, pretty much once the fall drama production is over. It ended this Monday when the All-State Participates were announced. I've been in speech all four years of high school (one of only two females in my class who can say that) and I'm going to miss it like crazy!

Update

I am behind.

It is almost next Monday, and I haven't even posted a Manic Monday post for this week.
I haven't posted a recipe for two weeks.

The low down is, life gets crazy. And then, it gets crazier.

My New Year's resolution is to be healthier. Work out more, eat less junk, that type of thing.
Which quickly became ironic, because a week into the New Year, I got strep throat.
Strep throat would be at the top of my list of Worst Diseases. Why? I can't sing. Not even in the shower. But I'm better now! So my resolution is (sort of) back on track.

We started a new semester in school and my classes are overall more difficult than last semester. However, I have taken much more difficult class loads in the past, so it shouldn't be too trepidatious.

I am in a play!!!! We're not having a spring play at my high school, so when our community theater asked if I would be in their dinner theater production this March, I jumped all over the chance.

Still no decisions on college. No decisions on a major either. I'm getting there, but it's getting close.

I'll be back tomorrow with a mind-blowing Manic Monday post. In the mean time, Happy Sunday! Kick back, relax, get your homework done, and eat popcorn for dinner. That's what I'll be doing!

(Last) Manic Monday! (of 2012)

I know that it is technically already Tuesday. Today was another busy day! Happy New Year everyone! Here are some of my favorite things from this trip around the sun.

1. Favorite Album/ Song

I absolutely love fun., and I have listened to their album "Some Nights" A LOT this year. I love every song, but my favorite from the album and from the year 2012 would have to be "Out On The Town". The song starts with the lyric, "I set all my regrets on fire". That should be everyone's New Year's resolution. Resolutions are about what we want to accomplish in the future, but accomplishing goals can be difficult unless with let go of the mistakes we've made. We can't step into the future until we stop treading in the past, so let it go and start over with a fresh new year! (I get a little too philosophical late at night)

2. Favorite Movie

I did not allow myself to decide my favorite movie of 2012 until I saw "Les Miserables". I went to it this morning, and while it was very good, my favorite movie of the year would have to be "The Perks of Being a Wallflower". It's a coming of age story of friendship, and growing up, and learning to love being alive. As a teenager, I found it very relatable. Most teen movies pure cheese; they're about perfect kids who don't think they are perfect enough. This one was much more genuine. In the end it left me feeling hopeful about the future that I have ahead of me, and yet content to live in the now.

3. Favorite Show That I Went To

I went to four musicals this year. "Rent" at the Fifth Avenue Theater in Seattle, "Billy Elliot",  "Les Miserables", and "Beauty and the Beast", all at the Des Moines Civic Center. Though they were all FANTASTIC my favorite was, hands down, Les Miserables. I've wanted to see it for so long. As a musical theater fanatic, I wouldn't physically be able to die until seeing this show. The story is moving and the score is powerful. During the final song when (spoiler alert) Valjean is dying, I cried. And I cried all the way to the end and through the curtain call. I mean, I cried during other parts of the show (during the song "I Dreamed a Dream", Fantine's Death, "One Day More", Eponine's Death, Gavroche's Death) but at the end, it was a good half hour of uncontrollable sobbing. When people talk about theater magic, they're talking about shows like Les Miz.

4. Biggest Personal Accomplishment

My biggest personal accomplishment this year was being accepted into the Iowa All State Choir. I have tried out all four years, and to make it my senior year was a good way to end. It was an unforgettable experience. I am fortunate and very, very glad that my hard work was paid off.

5. Best Adventure

Trip to Seabrook. It was fun and relaxing and I got to see all of my distant relatives (distant in proximity, not in relation). Oceans are great, and this trip introduced me to the book "The Help", which is the best, and one of only three books, that I read this year.

6. Best New Restaurant

As a rural Iowan, I don't have convenient access to a variety of restaurants. Zombie Burger is not a new restaurant by any means, but this year marked my first dining experience there. It was when I was at musical theater camp. The day of the showcase, sessions started later than usual, so we had to eat lunch before we got to the Civic Center. A couple of friends from camp who knew the area took me to Zombie burger and a fun t-shirt store called Raygun. It was great fun and a great meal!

7. And the Oscar Goes to...

Me. Because I am the best Wicked Witch EVA!!!!! (not only do I become philosophical late at night, but I also lose any trace of humbleness)



Peanut Butter Fudge Sandwich Cookies

Since September of this year, Saturday night has been a Game Night for a group of friends and myself. We get together from about 6:00pm until midnight and play games like "The Game of Things", "Catch Phrase", "Know It Or Blow It", or "Scategories". We try not to play mainstream board games (ex. Monopoly, Sorry, Scrabble), and our rule of thumb is that if you bring a mainstream game, it must be a special version (ex. Lord of the Rings Monopoly, Disney Sorry) And sometimes, I bring treats.

Christmas etc.

Christmas was great! Not just because of the presents (which, I'll admit, were pretty sweet), but because of all the gifts from God that I received as well.

1) First and foremost, all of my family had safe travels from Seattle, Brooklyn, Illinois, Minnesota, etc. to Iowa and back.

2) We had a white Christmas!

3) I got some pretty cool stuff for Christmas. I got a torch from William Sonoma and an adorable apron from Anthropologie, and other assorted kitchen supplies. Plus, some stuff for college.

4) The most amazing thing happened this Christmas. My Grandma Joyce has had Alzheimer's for a while now. For the most part, she doesn't remember the grandkids, and with her own kids it's a little hit and miss. I can't imagine what it would be like in her shoes. Always fishing to remember who people are, and always having people tell you where to go or what to do. Luckily, she always recognizes my Grandpa, and she still has very sweet, loving disposition. Anyway, on Christmas she wasn't remembering us, and she had just awaken from a nap so she was a little confused. So we started singing  Christmas songs with her, and she knew every word of every song. We all sang together, every song we knew.  It was such a fantastic experience for all of us. She got to participate with our family, and for me, it was a glimpse back at the way she used to be. Sharp as a tack (honestly, she knew the lyrics better than I did).  She may not remember it, but I always will.

5) My sister, our friend Ally and I went prom dress shopping with the ladies in our family (including my Aunt from Seattle!) I found a beautiful dress! (it's from Stacey's Bridal/Prom. They have fabulous dresses!

Merry Manic Monday!

It's one hour and 20 minutes until Jesus's birthday!!! 

(Sorry it was a little haphazardly made. It's been a busy day!)

1. Christmas Eve Service

Our church always had a great Christmas Eve service. We sing hymns with candles. It's great. This year I sang and played violin during the service.

2. Aftershocks of company

We spent almost the entire day preparing for our annual Christmas Eve dinner. My dad makes amazing soup, and we have sandwiches and candy. The after we clean up. It's quite an undertaking (I'm quietly avoiding cleaning with a flimsy "emergency blog" excuse)

3. Our Christmas Tree

It's HUGE. It is five feet in diameter and ten feet tall. It's pretty hefty. But I love it!

4. Favorite Christmas Movie

White Christmas. I watch it all the time during the holiday season and sing the songs nonstop.

5. Favorite Christmas Song

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas. Buble Style.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Lefse

Lefse is a Norwegian flatbread. My mom's side has made it around Christmastime for as long as I can remember. Now, we make it with our neighbor. We usually fill it with butter and sugar, but this year I did some experiments to come up with new fillings.

Snow Day!

Four inches of snow and some gusty wind meant an early Christmas break for us! Today was our first snow day this year, and it came just in time for a white Christmas. This is what it looked like from the passenger seat of my sister's car about a 1/2 hour after it started to snow.

There had been rumors of a big snowfall for a while. We were all anticipating not having school today. Friends exchanged Christmas gifts early. Classes moved up tests (or cancelled them). Teachers all but said "See you next year!". Then, last night, the school officially tweeted (yes, our school has twitter) that it we would indeed have a snow day.

This is what it looked like by this morning.

So I spent the day doing odds and ends chores and goofing off. Then, tonight our neighbor came over so we could make a Christmas favorite!

Lefse is a Norwegian treat that my family makes every year around Christmas time. Our neighbor (who has been friends with my mom since they were kiddos) makes it with us. It is a potato based flatbread that is made on a griddle. Then, you fill it with something and roll it up. The vikings would fill it with lutefisk (a pickeled fish).
Fun fact: when I was little I thought that Norwegians were from a country called Norwegia (nowadays I am well aware that Norwegians hale from Norway)

Recipe to come tomorrow!

It won't happen again!

I'm am done messing with my blog template! I got this one on Etsy and it's PERFECT! I love it and won't be changing it anymore!

Manic Monday

On a week like this one, it can be hard to think of the good things in life. I am praying for the families of the victims in the Connecticut tragedy. I can't even begin to imagine what they're all going through, and I don't think I will ever understand why or how things like that occur. It does make me appreciate my moments a little bit more. Well, here goes...

1. Ghirardelli Almond Bark
We bought this stuff in bulk this year for making Christmas candy. It is super good!

2. Gas is $3.00 a gallon
Road trips without the guilt trips!

3. Jazz Choir
Now that our Christmas concert is over, jazz choir is in full swing at my high school! I love jazz choir. It is a blast! (the pic is us after winning state last year)

4. P.S. I made this...
This blog is fantastic! I want to make everything on it

5. My twin sister
Because I couldn't think of a 5th thing and she told me to put her.

Goodies!

I did not want to have two Manic Monday posts back to back. I've been cooking a lot lately. Blogging about it? Not so much. Here is some of the stuff I've whipped up.