A REAL Farewell

I reread my last farewell post, and I have to say...not my best. Ugh, it was so poorly written. I wrote it hastily and it turned out just downright sucky. So, since I haven't officially started my new college blog yet (I'll get there) I figured it would be good to give this little treasure a proper send-off.

I'm 18 years old. I have absolutely no clue what I want to do with my life.

Shocker, right? I know that even the 18 year olds who think they have it all figured out are either delusional or entering a family business. I've decided that I'm going to make this post completely honest. Here's what my dreams were and what they have become.

Ever since I was little I have been enamored with musical theater. It was and is that one thing that brings me the most joy. So, ever since I was little, my dream was to be on Broadway. And I know that is probably the dumbest, corniest thing ever. But that's the way dreams are. 

Dreams are often times very unrealistic. That's what my opinion has become about that little old dream of mine. So many things in my life just didn't quite line up for that dream to come true. I grew up in a very small town, and as amazing as that was, it has given me a fairly inaccurate gauge of how talented I am. I hear this figure of speech way too often: they were just a big fish in a small pond. That's what I was. That doesn't mean I wasn't a talented fish. It just means that there are probably bigger fish out there, and in the grand scheme of things, I'm fairly miniscule. I'm also a fish who started too late. I am not remotely prepared for what a professional musical theater setting would demand from me. I am not a dancer, and I would need a lot of work as an actor. But in the eyes of any courtroom, I've officially entered adulthood, so I feel like it might be too little too late.

Now, mind you, I understand that these are excuses. I could surpass these things and attempt to live my dream in spite of them. But that would be terrifying!!! If I finish college, I will be in about $35,000 worth of debt. Add together paying that off and renting an apartment and having the lack of work that is characteristic of a new artist, and I see myself living in a refrigerator box under the loveliest overpass Manhattan has to offer. Not to mention there is no guarantee that I will ever get a job in theater.

I know this may be coming off as a melancholy self-pity fest, but I'm trying to be realistic and put to words the stuff that is going on in my head. What is my dream now? Good god, I don't fricker-fracken know. Baker? Teacher? Performer? SNL cast member? Inventor of the next big infomercial product? Currently, every time I think about the future, I get a really bad migraine and usually start crying. Maybe that's just my sleep-deprived college brain crying out for a nap. I know once I've found my niche, I won't feel that way anymore.

So finally, officially, I say goodbye to high school. Goodbye to old dreams and, once I figure out what they are, hello to new, better ones.

I leave you with a quote from my musical theater hero:

The art of making art is putting it together. Bit by bit. - Stephen Sondheim

(If you miss me click here and you can here even more about my college angst!)

Oh yeah, prom happened

Wah wah wah. Busy busy busy.
That's all I seem to do these days, is whine about how busy I am.
But, truth be told, I've been have a really fun time this year. And one of those fun things was prom.

(Oh nostalgia! Here's my sister and I. Kindergarten. Senior prom. Whoa.)

I had a blast at prom this year. The theme was "A Walk On The Wild Side", and the junior class totally ran with it. They did such a good job decorating! I've gone with a friend-boy both years that I've gone to prom, and it's always been really fun.

The banquet and dance are fun, but after prom was the best part. A hypnotist came and I was one of the kids the got hypnotized. Being hypnotized is WEIRD. You are aware of what's going on. You laugh at things that other people say. You can hear the audience. You're completely there, but you do whatever the hypnotist tells you too without question. That's the weird part. When I was hypnotized, I cried about pretty much everything, yelled at people, and hid things in my cleavage. It was hilarious.

And that was that. Prom was great.

Rainbow Doodle Cake

Today was my last day babysitting for the summer, and we wanted to have some fun. Since I love to bake, we decided that we should end the summer with something sweet. This is an idea from a baking site called Sweetapolita and the kids just loved it! They got to draw all over a cake with markers and then eat it. So fun!

Raspberry Brown Butter Tart

Summer has come and gone in a blink! Well, summer isn't quite over yet, but school starts pretty soon! Even though I'm a fan of turtlenecks and a hot cup of peppermint tea, I'm a little weary about saying goodbye to this summer. It feels like my last summer ever. But, then again, that's kind of exciting too. If you're feeling a little sentimental about summer, here is a great dessert to make with some of my favorite summer berries!

The Chicken Wrap

Graduation was 1 month ago. We are still cleaning up from it. Pardon this tardy post. I thought I would be less busy during the summer. Ha.

Sunday, May 19th 2013, was officially the end of my time as a high schooler. I walked across the stage and the president of the school board handed me my diploma and that was it. Then we threw our hats in the air and some kids went to town with a few cans of silly string.

Now, don't misunderstand me during this next section. Graduation was a great experience. But some people make it out like it will be the greatest experience of you time in high school. And that is completely false.

To explain this, I'm going to use what my mother and her friends call a "Bethism". I am going to compare my high school experience to my favorite high school cafeteria meal...the chicken wrap. Now, the graduation ceremony is sort of like the tortilla. The tortilla surrounds the outside, so it's what you think of when you envision a chicken wrap. As your growing up when you think of high school, you think of graduation. I think that's because it's pretty much the only thing that you can anticipate. That and prom. (Prom is the lettuce. It's mostly fluff, but it's kind of nice to have in there). 

Classes are the chicken. That's is where the bulk of your time is going to be spent. That's also where the bulk of your memories are going to be made. The chicken is the tastiest part, but it's also where most of the calories come from. Classes are fun and it's great to spend time with your friends, but some of them are a LOT of hard work.

Extracurriculars are the cheese. Sometimes, with the chicken wrap, the cheese kind of falls out the bottom. Extracurricilars are a lot of time and hard work, and sometimes they slip away from you a little bit (once I forgot about a practice for the musical. I felt to bad, I went home and cried for 20 minutes.) But they are absolutely worth every ounce of effort.

Last, there's the ranch. The ranch is something a little different for everybody. For me, the ranch was playing board games every Saturday with my classmates. It was decorating the hallway for the Wizard of Oz and watching everybody light up when they saw it. It was a party-bus ride where we all lost of voice from singing an
epic rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. That's my ranch. That's my chicken wrap. And those things were a lot more meaningful and lasting to me than a 55 minute ceremony where I just smiled, and walked in heels, and sat up straight. But it was nice to have that tortilla to wrap it all up.

Other Fun Facts:
We had Class Night, and I sang a song with my friend Jessica. And I cried through half of it. I thought it was really embarrassing, but a lot of people have told me how "touching" they thought it was so I guess I'm ok.

Also during class night, I was exhausted from getting ready for my party and being at my party. I fell asleep during the scholarship portion. And then I received a scholarship while I was konked out, so my friends had to wake me up and I drowsily went up retrieve it. Whoops!

I am currently in the midst of writing 140-some thanks you notes for all of the wonderful gifts I received during my graduation party.

My poor, poor blog

The reason we don't have pets in my house is because we simply don't have time. They would be neglected. I mean, they would have food, water, and a dry, warm place to sleep. But we lack the time and energy to give them the affection they need.

This is the way my blog has been treated.

I've been so busy, it's a wonder that I never ended up showing up at the wrong activity.
Here's what's been going on.

1. Jazz Band
For the first time in 14 years, Audubon Jazz Band qualified for the Iowa Jazz Championships. I play saxophone (I have given up hope that I will ever look attractive in a picture of me playing an instrument). It has been a very enjoyable season, and a very enjoyable group of people to work with.  We went to the state competition yesterday. We did not place, but it was still a big step for us to qualify after all these years

2. Jazz Choir
Our Jazz choir got 2nd place at the state competition. And we were all very disappointed. Doesn't that say something about the caliber of our group? Disappointed in getting 2nd at a state competition? It has been a tough year for our group, and I'm proud of us for getting through and always working hard despite the challenges. Now, they have something to shoot for next year, and I hope that they can bring home another championship trophy.

3. Individual Speech
 Look at that hardware! I won third place at the Walnut Hill Individual Speech competition. In expos, believe it or not, as opposed to individual musical theater, in which I did not even make the finals (don't be bitter, Beth).
This year for individual speech, I did an expository address (a speech with a visual aid) about how single people spend Valentine's Day, and a musical theater piece called Rose's Turn (which I talked about in the loveless puppy that I call "Manic Monday")
I got straight one's in both events at the state contest (a personal best), but did not advance to All-State, which was my ultimate goal in musical theater at least. Upon reflection, if I truly wanted to make it to All-State, I should have put more time in. But that time, I'm sorry to say, had to be spent sleeping. For the sake of my health.

 4. College Stuff
I was accepted into two music programs (at state schools, which is no easy feat.) They were Iowa State University, and the University of Iowa. Here's the deal. My sister is going to Iowa State. We have more a family legacy there. But Iowa has more of what I'm interested in. I really like it there. Plus, I've had this gut feeling all year that I need to go there. We'll see if that means anything.



Misc.
*We had state solo/ensemble contest last weekend. I participated in 9 events and got seven division I ratings. BONUS: My vocal solo was chosen as best of center. What does that mean, Beth? Well, it means that out of the 30-35 events that were in that particular center, including solos, duets, groups, etc., my solo was considered the best.
*I was in a play called "Leaving Iowa". I played an obnoxious brat. It was great :)
* We went to visit my brother/aunt and uncle in Seattle for spring break. Just my sister and I and our cousin Katherine. No parents! It was so fun :)
*I'm graduating...in 1 month.... AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.

Oscar Update

I am an award-show-aholic. I love anything Oscar/Emmy/Tony etc. This year, I wanted to see all of the Best Picture nominated films before the Oscars. Considering at this point I have six movies left to see, I don't think it's going to happen. Here's Where I'm at so far...

Les Miserables
If you know me, you know that I love musicals more than water. Even if you only read this blog, you've probably gathered that I have a thing for spontaneous song. So when Les Miserables came out, I was all over it. It was very good, but it had many flaws. There were a lot of close ups, a few weak singers (though, unlike most, I do not consider Russell Crowe to be one of them). Also, it all went by so fast! I mean, I understand that they condensed the show (the cut out about 45 minutes from the stage version), but I felt like it made the characters harder to connect to. The movie's redeeming qualities were definitely Anne Hathaway (so far, my nominee for Best Supporting Actress), Samantha Barks, and the end scene between her, ValJean (Hugh Jackman), and the Bishop. Good, satisfactory, but not my pick Best Picture.

Silver Linings Playbook
So far, my pick for best picture. I LOVED this movie. It's about a guy who suffers from mental illness who is trying to put his life back together. It didn't make me cry like Les Mis did, but I felt very connected to each character. Jennifer Lawrence was amazing, as was Bradley Cooper. I don't really know what else to say. It was just a really great film.

Zero Dark Thirty
Intense. I seriously thought I was going to vomit when it was over, because it was two hours of very concentrated intensity. For those of you that don't know, Zero Dark Thirty is a movie about the decade-long search for/assassination of Osama bin Laden. Mainly, about the woman whose life was consumed by this mission (played by Jessica Chastain). Omigosh, bravo Jessica Chastain! She was phenomenal. Though the movie was difficult to watch at some points, I understand the appreciation for it.

Even though I haven't seen enough of the films to make a super valid choice, I know who I'll be rooting at the Oscars this Sunday!